In the temple of the Viking king

A Viking is knighted, herald and all,

Then the next warrior kneels, is anointed, err..  associate..sword...holder.

The Viking asks,

How can yo be so proud to be lowly carrier, to merely carry my weapons for me, While I claim the glory that will surely lead me to Valhalla?

Lazy Viking answers,

 Oh dude, come on, its sweet, I get all the perks, and you have to swing the sword, do you realize when you're not using your shield, which is really stupid by the way, Im hiding nearby, holding an axe and a shield?

You'd be surprised how good I am at hiding.

Remember when we foght the dragon of auir

Aye, a beast Birthed from the hells of medusas gusset, to be sure.

And I was right behind you as the best struck, swinging your shield in, disorienting the creature so you could cut it's head off?

With a flourish, I fell the foul foe..beast. It was SWEET.

Well the truth is I just stuck the shield in the ground, and you fell over it. The beast was distracted because you were spastic and I was a coward.
Not.
Too.
Shabby.

The Lazy Viking lights a joint.

Plunder of war, right here BIOTCH.

LATER...

The Vikings plunge into war, from the shore they survey the battle ahead.

Come my shield man, into battle!

Sure, I guess.

What!

Well I gotta say I'm just not feeling very passionate today. You know, I mean, we spend all this energy and time into the pillaging, the sackings, the beatings the raping, the fires, the beasts, jus the general he'll of war, and for what

For the glory of our lands and the gods we serve

Well... I can't say I'm too crash hot on the gods either,
All powerful deities that decree we kill and possess everything in sight?

For the glory!

Glory? Wouldn't it be slightly more advantageous in our pursuit of glory to have a stable economy of trade with these people? You see that? That's a very ripe tomato, looks very juicy and clearly wrought by a great deal of experience with local seasons and agricultural methods. Could we not get more food and less disease by leveraging the local talent, and create a friendly base of operations from which to launch more appropriately judged offensive action? Effective borders are a proven disincentive to unfriendly forces.  Offer them protection from those with les foresight than us, all the while establishing stable trade routes, and a better lifestyle for our people, a growing population, which thereby secures our position geopolitically, and bring us the empire we deserve, a Glorious Empire.

You speak wisely, we must return and bring this idea to the king!

Ugh, I can't stand that boat man, fuck it, I'm horny.

BAAAAAAGHH!!!!!

They sprint off into battle.

We drop into a pencil sketch of the scene, a historian is peaking in a lecture about the conditions of the time

The highest prevalence in Viking soldier was a particularly virulent venereal disease, largely responsible for uncontrollable defecation and eye gouging bouts of priapism, leading some to strokes, heart attacks, but almost all' to suicide.

I the next phase of our historical exhibition, I will dr your attention to...

Awesome Adventure Squad and Dr Scribbage

Doris delivers coffees to the execs.

a fly lands on a cup of coffee, and we zoom in to the

"Awesome Voyage Adventure squad"

the team sit astride a giant fly, or rather, a normal size fly, as they have been

MINATURIZED!!

"well, the diminutive beam seemed to work without a hitch, but this fly is really hard to drive, you think its a stick and i dont realise?"

"At least its comfy"
"well thats true, but it just keeps taking us to rotten meat we're supposed to be inside the presidents body. to plant this tracking device."

"yeah how are we supposed to get INTO the president, i mean we can fly up his nose, but then what?"

"was the fly supposed to get shrunk too?"

maybe"

"No but then we couldnt ride it."

"Good catch!"

"I thought we were supposed to get injected into his bloodstream"

"Ew, i hate the sight of blood"

"looks lets just get over there and try, ok?"

"Ace Squad, AWAY!"

they fly out of frame, and we cut wide to president barack obama being interviewed. he is answering important questions at the beginnign of his

presidency. he sees the fly, traks it, and smacks it dead. the news crew zoom in on the hand, to show it is dead we see the red smear of the adventure

team.

we transition out of this scene.

we zoom out of the tv image to the lair of the brilliant but deranged Dr Scrabbage, as he sees his team crushed

"he is clearly under the influence of physchotropics"

he paces

"no man is as fast as a fly!"

his mfbi handler is looks in {from a wheelchair, clearly disabled. a quadraplegic perhaps.Perhaps not necessary.}

"wats.. what.. what was with the fly?"

"i'm not really sure, i mean, i got whats a hand, you know, its... a.. fly.. it flies.. it's got shrunker people on it, do you know how badass that is?"

"well yeah badass, but totalyl impractical, i thoughtyou knew what you were doing!"

"oh shit, no my dear agent Brimsack, i'm completely insane."
He appears suddenly lucid

"What?"

the dr throws a knife from the tabletop into the agents side

"hahahahaAAA!" YES! YES! it's TRUE, the rumors of my impairement have been WOEFULLY understated, yes yes, of course, and indeed, as always, one is be-
HEST! to bow to ones WHIMS!"

with each emphasis he is hurling objects around the room, canisters of fuel, etc..he is himself doused already

"And NOW iwth a FLOURISH i will MAKE
MY
MARK..."

"He sparks a match and holds it before the officer"

"I'm off to kill the president-"
he is hurled sideways by a bullet ringing out.

the match flails in the air

and lands upon the dr, he bursts into flames and dies, crossfade to the dorctors body int he same place, burnt and smoking.

we pan down from the crisped corpse of the dr, through the floor and earth, all the way down to hell.

It is here that the Brilliant and deranged Dr Scribbage meets his maker, the gatekeeper of hell, and his story goes on.

Scifi scene

"BATTLE SEQEUNCE ENGAGE!"

"DAMAGE TO HULL"

a panel explodes and kills the captain

"fuuuck"
he dies

The weapons officer yells to the navigator
"you have to take command, what are your orders?"

"Fire the guns!"

"Aye"

"Shoot the other things"

"Other things away"

"Now spin the ship aruond!"

"Whee!"

"Give em the finger!"

"FUCK YOU"

the enemy explodes

"target destroyed, sir"

""we've got to get back to the front lines and help the fleet,
ensign, lay in a reciprocal course to mangus 5 at full laserspeed, on my mark...

Engage."

-Cut!

"what?

dont say on my mark, ok, let's take it from target destroiyed..

"why cant i say on my mark, im in the chair!"

a second tier character in a scifi show wihinges that he wants to say "on my mark" superfluously because its the only time hes going to get to sit in the chair, he already got to say "reciprov\cal course" when telling someone to take them back to the battle, and he wants to have his moment

"but its not necessary, the intention of the on my mark command is to ready the officer to engage a time-sensitive action in any given strategic scenario, its not just that he wouldnt want to DELAY the order, if anything, that he would simply 'and engage' after designating the course!"

"well if you were in the business of delaying orders, my colon wouldnt be full of man-junk!"

the crew stiffens in shock at the outburst. wee see their expressions hold for an uncomfortable moment.

"on my mark then-"

the director turns and escapes the room

"yeah, thats right!"

"...gonna fly this motherfucker into a STAR next season!"

he bellows as YODA
"beeeiiiiitch!"


the lights flash and we leave the scene

The pitch meeting.

The ptcih meeting unfolds between the makers of the film, they then call Doris the tea lady in, we follow here ae she leaves in a documentary style fashion, a narrator begins,

This is Doris. She works here at a film studio headquarters, bringing tea and delivering mail for the staff, 

They call here the incubator.

An executive whispers "she's had FIFTEEN kids..."


Ww return to the execs office once Doris story has finished, or sometime later, and we see the trailer for INCUBATOR, a tale of a mutant part cyborg  birthing machine created by the hubris of mankind, and sent to the past to repopulate the earth following some unknown disaster. It turns out SHE was the disaster, and as the film ends, she discreetly slips behind a mountain, with the dull thump of foetuses dropping like cat poop in the valley, underuse and ominous.

The execs proclaim as we slip out of the tv

 IT WAS HER THE WHOLE TIME?

The pitcher turns ominously, cropping into a sea gal closeup 

"I'm afraid not, gentlemen, turns out..."

He reveals a futuristic laser cannon, and blows the executives away in a hail of percussive energy that strips their flesh, then electrocuted the remaining muscle

He screams, lazy eyed with bloodlust

FUCKYEAH

The bones shatter like crystal. The reveres shot pod the dust falling shows the pitcher, breathing heavily, heaving, heaving that then turns into a funky swagger as he hefts the gun and struts out of the office as a tune begins to blend in.

he waves to passers by as he slips on his shades.

The music opens

"cool, as your iced tea..

Ice tea that's been sitting there since this morning..."

Credits.

you know that pip in my throat i told you about, that was knawin at me,

i think i just got it.

i think i just found it

you know that feeling i told ya about?

itslike when you've got a pip stuck in your throat,  and you cant move it, not up, not down, immovable.

it distracts you, and you cant see clear, your thinking is all foggy...

and finally it slips, and its almost like you woke up, you were so distracted by that feeling

--and its all clear

did i tell you when get that feeling?

"you get it around lies"

i get that feeling around LIARS, theres a difference. one is like, somethign you can grab, tangible.

then there's that presence in your throat, that you cant cough out.

you gotta WAIT.

i got that feelin right now

(it is the same way the police officer in the scene {undercoverguy} has previously described the way the criminals make him feel, omg good and evil are two sides of the same coin.. HOLLYWOOD!)

ok ive got a trailer, now time for a poster. ok im gonna have this guy standing on the side of frame looking really shady, looking out of the poster around a corner, maybe hes got a gun, or its something more idiosyncratic, like a teddy bear, or a bunch of flowers, or go grindhouse and its a hacksaw or an axe, maybe some kind of improvised weapon made out of a broom handle and some razor wire.

mm ok so behind him is a long alleyway, cooly and moodily lit, as though there is something pursuig him out of the poaster, into the ACTION, hes gotta be looking into a light around the corner, so we can contrast his stubble and get his skin looking orange.

sweet, ok so now how do i get this sucker MADE?

right so we need a twist, the two are BROTHERS? nah, maybe hes not really the mob boss, hes teh chief of police and the whole film was a reverse sting operation to get him to murder the mayor, or a much beloved pizza maker.

or MAYBE one of them is a Cylon?

nah teh stakes have to be higher, maybe the whole film is a sophisticated virtual reconstruction in a distant future, and people are sent back to observe completely mundane policework, in order to catch up on missed paperwork and filekeeping.

great farms of beaurecrats would busly push paper that had long since become dust a thousandfold, as towering forests of meting rooms housed the middle management, delving back into the depths of history in order to slow things down, so the beaurecrats could keep up, they called them the Obfuscators.

Maybe they were deaed the whole time?

maybe one of them is a superhero whose ability is to arrive dramatically at the most painfully futile moment, of absolute hopelessness as calamity would strike. he would therefore be seen as having been overwhelmingly brave to try, thereby distracting people from the horrible circumstance. he would also be great at selling alarm clocks, although he would always arrive jsut as everyone had packed the equipment away, or just as the office closed.

Flavour Country

"The child essays a longing well beyond its years, gaze speaking volumes of distress and the weariness, a reflection of the post industrial malaise, a shade of dismay in reaction to its mothers own furrowed visage.

By donning such incongruous and out-of –place headwear, we see the folly of a generation, a belief that the masses can continue to delude themselves, play the part of jubilance and picket-fence safety, and deny that the world has changed.

Like smoke clearing from a basement speakeasy, the truth, once veiled, is writ large:

smoke up, mother, we’re all about to die."

Hdr Photography tests!

Here are some Hdr photo tests, shot on the Canon 7d, getting to learn tonemapping etc.. pretty fun, the images themselves may not be as exciting but hey, i'm not chargin for this, and to be perfectly honest its pretty rude for you to just waltz in and judge like that.

Breather city Pan test 01

Quick previs/test of a city destruction sequence im working on

Not sure why youtube is playing this at double speed, maybe i selected the 'benny hill' compression method!

Some more images, caps from a Chopper vs Sportscar anim i knocked up.

City Shots!

Some tests shots of a digital city, rendered with FinalRender - Enjoy!

Text Seq 1.mp4

Another quick test in AE, some text and splatter fx.

New York Panorama Menu Test

Quick and dirty AE test, taking a still panorama of NYC and treating it to serve as a backdrop for a test menu. includes some splattery nuggets, added a flare to give the still a bit of life and movement. the water splooshes and distorts a bit also. the basic idea is that this pan will loop back, possibly transition to another vista, depending on which area of the city you would want to enter.